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The Healing Power of Play: Why Words Aren't Always the Answer in Child Therapy.

As parents, it’s natural to want your child to articulate their struggles, to talk about what’s bothering them. There’s an understandable belief that if a child can talk about their feelings or experiences, they can move forward faster. Words seem to offer a tangible way to understand, heal, and let go. But this expectation can place undue pressure on kids and misses a key aspect of their developmental journey.


A view from above, looking down at a child drawing with markers. They created a figure on their paper and are coloring it in. They are working on a wood floor.

The Right Hemisphere’s Role in Childhood

Children, especially under the age of 12, tend to have right-hemisphere dominance. This means that the part of their brain that governs social relationships, empathy, creativity, and self-awareness is more actively engaged. Importantly, this development happens independently of language. While the left hemisphere is associated with logical reasoning and language, the right hemisphere focuses on the nuances of experience, emotional understanding, and embodied knowing.


The growth of the right hemisphere is essential for fostering a child’s sense of self, their ability to navigate relationships, and their capacity for empathy. Play—whether it involves art, movement, music, or imagination—is a natural and necessary way for children to process their world. It taps into this right-hemispheric strength and allows them to explore and express feelings they may not yet have the words for.


Why Words Alone Aren’t Enough in Child Therapy

Have you ever had an experience where you understood something intellectually but couldn’t quite embody it? It’s as though the knowledge remains isolated, disconnected from your lived reality. This can happen with children when we focus solely on having them “talk about it.” While verbal expression can demonstrate that a child has retained and can recall information, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have processed it or integrated it into their being.


In fact, placing too much emphasis on verbalizing emotions can inadvertently block healing. For some kids, talking about their feelings might even reinforce the experience without providing an outlet for transformation or release.

a pipe cleaner action figure. the figure is blue and holding a white sword. It's lunging out as if ready to strike. It has a green feather on top of its head and a tool belt around its waist. Its holding a box of fire.
Pipe-cleaner action figure

The Neuroscience of Play

Play therapy recognizes that healing often happens beyond words. Neuroscience underscores the importance of experiential and embodied processing, especially in childhood. Child therapy involves activities like drawing, dancing, role-playing, and music-making which activate brain regions involved in emotional regulation, sensory integration, and relational connection. These right hemispheric activities encourage a child to:


  • Access and express emotions: Art and play allow children to project their feelings in a nonverbal way, creating a safe distance that makes difficult emotions more manageable.

  • Build neural integration: Engaging in play connects different parts of the brain. For example, while the right hemisphere processes emotions, the left hemisphere might start to organize these experiences into narratives, fostering integration.

  • Develop self-regulation: Through play, children practice coping mechanisms, experiment with problem-solving, take healthy risks, and develop resilience.


Shifting the Goal in Therapy

In play therapy, the goal isn’t to get kids to “talk about it,” but to help them process and integrate their experiences in a way that feels natural to them. For young children, healing often looks like painting an abstract picture, building a fantastical world with blocks, or pretending to be a superhero who overcomes obstacles. These activities help them make sense of their experiences on a deeper level.


Talking can be a helpful tool to connect the dots and foster integration, but it’s not the primary focus. Instead, the emphasis is on creating a space where children can engage their innate creativity and imagination to process their inner worlds.


Two stuffed animals next to each other. One is a giraffe and its head is leaning on a bunny.

Supporting Your Child’s Healing Journey

If you’re a parent, consider how you can support your child’s right-hemispheric development. Encourage activities that involve play, movement, and creativity. Resist the urge to press for verbal explanations, and trust that their healing doesn’t always need to happen in words.


By honoring your child’s natural ways of processing and understanding their world, you’re giving them the tools they need to grow, heal, and thrive. Play isn’t just a pastime; it’s a profound and essential part of how children make sense of their lives—and ultimately, how they move forward.


If you have any questions or want to learn more about how play therapy can support your child, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be happy to connect with you and discuss how to best support your child’s unique journey.


In gratitude,

Emily



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emily@createartandwellness.com

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